In the early days of Lent, I found myself needing to take a break from Facebook for “a few days,” I said. Then, somehow, I concluded my break needed to last for all of Lent. Here are some reasons why.

• Because I’ve realized I am entirely too enamored of my own cleverness, and having other people approve of it.
• Because I was starting to feel like I needed to take care of everyone whose posts I read.
• Because I felt terribly guilty every time I read about some political action I didn’t really have the bandwidth to take on.
• Because when everyone I knew was agonizing about a certain issue, like gun control, I felt I needed to read All The Articles so I could singlehandedly solve the problem for the whole country. (After all, I’m smart, right?)
• Because one of the ways I show love is to listen. And so I would seek out the hardest stories, just to listen and affirm, and after a while it wore me out.
• Because writing a little at a time made me feel like I was accomplishing something when I wasn’t accomplishing what I wanted to be.
• Because I was looking for answers to life’s biggest questions in a place that’s typically pretty superficial (even when you try hard to make it less superficial).
• Because I was spending more time and attention on my virtual friends than on the family and friends in front of my face.
• Because my son was becoming a distraction in my life instead of a focus in my life.
• Because I was using my son to get likes instead of being present to him.

At some point I do want to go back to Facebook. I want to use it in moderation, if such a thing is possible. What would that look like?

• Can I, should I, still post little clever things? Are they harmful, or just silly fun? I don’t know yet.
• I think it’s time to admit to myself that this is not the time in my life when I will be politically active. It’s not my priority. Perhaps a reasonable goal is to do one political thing a month, instead of one thing a day (!).
• Is posting articles really helping anyone, or am I just shouting into the wind? I wanted to heal the whole world, get Democrats and Republicans to talk to each other and love each other and agree on some things, and I just can’t take on the responsibility of an entire country. I don’t think the articles were doing me any good.
• Reading (and reposting) good essays, on the other hand, still feels right to me.
• It’s time to ask my book what it needs from me. That could be something on Facebook, or something not on Facebook.
• I don’t think the GF DF recipes news group is really all that helpful. Time to stop taking care of them, too.
• I can leave Binders Full of Rejects alone until I’m ready to submit, and I’m not ready yet.
• I’ve realized my life is plenty busy without trying to add to it. I can embrace the fact that I truly am a stay-at-home mom and not try to negate it by banging the writer drum all the time, or by thinking I need to be doing some other outside job. It’s ironic that stepping away from Facebook feels like it’s taken me out of my own head more, which is exactly what I needed.
• I can go to Motherless Daughters to get support, not just to give it. Maybe it’s time to experiment with less time-intensive support/comments.
• My soul is crying out for more time to listen and less time to talk. Writing in my journal is listening. (Isn’t that funny?)